Cause of our joy

God of mercy,
we celebrate the feast of Mary, the sinless mother of God.
May her prayers help us to rise above our human weakness. Amen.

I don't know how to begin. I have a secret I've been keeping, holding dearly in my heart, sharing only with my sweetheart and some sweet prayer warriors. Last time I held something so small and yet so huge this close, I was terrified. But then terrifyingly wonderful turned to achingly miserable in a very short period of time.

We were heartbroken. The children were heartbroken. The world looked and felt a little gray for a while.

Then came this past Advent when I prayed for a mystical rose from St. Therese, placed myself in the hands of Our Blessed Mother most amiable and blossoms in pink and white exploded outside my door all through the great feast of Our Lord's birth and beyond. Next came the rich colors of gold and earthy brown along with the sensuous spices of Epiphany; from the Greek... epiphaneia. Manifestation... to make known. This epiphany brought with it a drop of pure sunshine in the bitter cold as the news of a new soul was made known to us.

We were, of course, anxious. We've been disappointed before. But with this manifestation, something else was made known, a gift in the form of a whisper... it's gonna be alright. God is good always. Whatever happened, in sorrow or in joy, we truly believed... it was going to be alright.

It began as a whisper in my head that became the beating of my heart. I heard it in my most anxious moments when tears burned and lungs gasped. I heard it from my sweetheart when he knew I needed it most. I heard it from the mouths of my prayer guardians as they lifted me up when I felt low. I needed them to pray for me. I found my prayers were not really prayers at all, but demands. A honey-do list of my willfulness. I stopped praying. I started listening. And after a few more fretful weeks, those words were spoken out loud to us, sitting in that office, the same office where there were once tears of sorrow... now tears of gladness. This baby is dancing, just wiggling for joy, with a heart full of hope beating just for us! It's gonna be alright!

(I'm not going to force it on you but if you've never heard this song, 
please take a listen. I have been listening to it quite a bit 
and hope you find it as inspiring.)

P.S. Our appointment was supposed to be last Thursday, but the ice and snow kept us at home and, perhaps, affected my temperament just a bit. :)